I don't usually remember my dreams. This past week I've had 3 that I can remember. They started on Sunday or Monday and ended on Friday.
My past life had been rather difficult.
My first marriage had failed. I felt totally destroyed.
I was in a state of deep depression for over 3 years. I was a single mom with 2 young children.
I'll save that story for another time,
The image of me seems to be in the past. My being is in the present and I’m watching myself like an out of body experience.
In my dreams, I'm always alone but not lonely. No any connection with anyone. Not the kind of alone that is poor, pitiful me. I'm just there. I have no fear.
I’m in Colorado, but I don't know where in Colorado.
I’m dressed in shabby clothes, a heavy flannel shirt. I can’t tell what color the shirt is. It’s all faded and blue jeans.
The first dream happened either Sunday or Monday.
In the dream, I’m standing in a canal. There’s light above the canal similar to moonlight.
When I look up I can’t see the top of the walls.
The walls are stone and the floor is something kind of like slate. I’m standing in a little bit of water.
In front of me is a tall barred, iron gate. It towers above me. I’m 5’3 “. It’s at least twice my height.
There may have been a heavy rain somewhere in the distance. Water starts slowly coming in through the gate. It’s beginning to cover feet.
I run to the iron gate.
I clench my hands tightly around the cold, rough iron bars. I’m pushing hard against the gate as though I’m trying the hold back the water that is now covering my feet.
I wake up.
The second dream occurred a day or two later.
I’m in a fancy restaurant, dressed in my shabby clothes. The restaurant is bright and beautiful.
Beautiful crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling, sending sparkling light into the huge dining room.
The tables were covered with white linen tablecloths. Fine china was placed expertly on every table. The silverware was shining on the table and linen napkins in ornate silver rings.
Seated at the tables were zombies in dark suits (really, zombies). Strangely enough, they didn’t have any heads.
The headless zombie waiters were dressed in black suits and ties and crisp white shirts.
Even without their heads, there was activity but the room was eerily quiet.
No one noticed me so I walked out.
I wind up in a dirty house. My surroundings are in disarray.
Dirty dishes are stacked in the sink to the ceiling. Clothes that were fresh from washing are starting to get a mildew smell.
Clothes that hadn’t been worn for weeks are in a heap on the floor.
Boxes are piled everywhere.
No one had been there in quite awhile.
The house is a mess.
The floors look as though they hadn't been scrubbed in a long time. There’s residue on the floors from something spilled. streaks of black dirt line the floor as someone walked through the spills and dust that had accumulated on everything from who knows how long.
I run my finger along a table in the kitchen. It was as though I was moving my finger through fine sand in a sandbox, with the sand piling up on either side as I moved my finger.
Next I found myself in a disgusting bathroom.
Dirt on the sink, crud in the bowl. The toilet, ewwe, it was awful. And the bathtub had gone from white to dark grey.
I started cleaning the tub with a scrubby. I pushed as hard as I could to get the grime off. The scrubby didn’t move the at all. It was like the dirt was imbedded into the tub.
There were some people in the house sitting in the living room. I asked them to help me clean. They stared blankly at me for a moment, then, turned away.
I walked out of the house, the sun was shining brightly. I headed down to Burger King. It didn’t seem t beo very far from the house. I do like Burger King better than McDonald’s.
I ordered some food from the drive-thru.
The guy handed me my food and said "There's an iquana on the garbage can."
I looked over to the garbage can.
There was a 2 foot long, grey-green iguana, with spikes running down its spine, looking straight at me.
I woke up after that.
The dream I had on Friday night, I was still dressed in shabby clothes. I was alone.
I knew I was an artist. I wasn’t painting or anything. I just knew I was an artist,
I was in a building or big house.
The place was in an orderly mess. Like when you’re getting ready to move. Lots of boxes stacked neatly on the floor, clothes neatly piled on the furniture.
I started walking through the house. I enter into a dimly lit office.
The office was small. There were papers and folders on top of an antique, roll top desk. There were bookshelves on all the walls. Each shelf was filled to capacity.
I left the small office and walked up a wide, spiral staircase. It was black metal.
Turning to my right I saw what looked like a bedroom. This room was different from the other rooms.
It was large, brightly lit and empty. The walls were painted white. The floors were shiny, like they were heavily varnished.
I looked around the room for a moment, then, walked into a room across the hall.
In this room was a young woman, looking down, packing a box. I must have known her because I asked why she was moving. She was talking but I couldn’t hear what she was saying.
After that, I found myself on the spiral staircase again. I went into a room that appeared to be an old hospital room.
There were several wooden tables and chairs with a young man sitting at one getting an IV. He looked up at me and smiled,
The other tables were vacant. For whatever reason, I started jumping across the tables.
I ended up where I had started-back in the small dimly lit office.
There chair was a big, overstuffed office chair in the small office. It was brown leather and had cracked from age. I sunk deeply into the chair. I kept saying to myself “I’m going somewhere, but I don’t know where.
It wasn’t there when I first entered the room at the beginning of my dream.
The next thing I see is me in a long fur coat. The coat is white with dark, horizontal stripes on the body of the coat and vertical stripes on the sleeves. The coat reaches to my ankles. It’s soft and warm. I pull the collar tight around my face.
I find myself outside in the dark, in a snow storm.
It’s snowing really hard. Big fluffy flakes are falling from dark sky. It’s starting to accumulate on the ground.
As I trudge over the Rocky Mountains. I pull my coat collar closer to my face. I feel the cold heavy snowflakes as fall from the sky.
It’s starting to snow harder. With the darkness of the and the snow falling harder, I can't see more than 2 feet in front of me.
It’s getting really deep. I slide my feet through the snow. It’s getting too deep to take steps.
I keep saying to myself “I’m going somewhere, but I don’t know where.”
I wake up.
This is the first time I’m there, in my dreams, as an observer watching what I’m doing. And I have no fear.
Saturday night I fell asleep easily and had no dreams. I woke up Sunday morning and I hadn’t dreamt. I was like-Wow!
Some people believe dreams are reminders of the past, pleasures and anxieties of the present or quick glimpses into the future.
Since having these dreams my mind hasn’t been full of thoughts. Ideas running through my head so fast, I can't keep up with them.
Today my mind is peaceful. Only the words I’m writing are flowing.
What a good feelng.
Could my dreams be an indicator of 3 chapters in my life, going from horrible, to not so bad, to the promise of the future?
What do you think?
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Sallie Wysocki Art